Sajhedaar – More than a companion

This is not a “fantasy” post but a peek into a “real” experience. We met each other (actually, I found her and sent her the request ;)) on a matrimonial site. And she “ignored”! But, I don’t know why, I remained persistent (too stubborn?, I guess) and used more than one means to reach out to her. Eventually, she replied! And we started talking; that’s how the journey began. It was a long-distance setup and took very little time for me and her to become “us!”. Like everyone else, we had a wonderful courtship period, and it’s been ~14 years since we (Kripa and I) have known each other. I wouldn’t call ours a “relationship”; it’s a “partnership!”. Huh! Play of words, I am going to stick to partnership. Partnership emerges once we penetrate the periphery of the relationship. Relationships are like pieces of Lego, using which one can build a partnership. It takes a few blocks of relationships, like availability, equality, commitment, faith (not trust), sense of responsibility, and desire to care, to form a strong partnership. There are no parallels in partnership, but it’s a constant work-in-progress for shared goals of life. I cannot emphasize enough the availability (as opposed to the physical presence) when we talk about partnership. It’s okay for not being present but unacceptable to be unavailable. I guess availability is at the core of a partnership; it enables us to create an empty space, a judgment-free zone, with no agendas, motives, or baggage of the past, an empty space. Once an empty space is created, only then does the creation come to life. Partnership demands “equality”; no feminism or patriarchy, no frills, just “equality!”. Both need to take part (bystanders would perish) in the creation process. Partnership requires “commitment”; in my opinion, the currency of commitment is determination and patience, which is earned by spending blood, sweat, and tears. The recipe also needs “responsibility”; victimism cannot exist (period!). The last one (and one of my favorites) is “desire!”. Nothing matters if the desire is lost. It’s the desire that would keep the partnership alive and thriving to do better. Sounds pretty simple, right? But it reminds me of a dialogue from a Hindi movie called Bawarchi: “It is so simple to be happy but so difficult to be simple!”. So, it’s walk the talk for “us!”

Here’s to my partner…. Mera Sajhedaar.